What a fantastic place the internet can be if you are in the mindset for a fact finding mission. And Boy, is that what I have been on the last couple of days…a mission. I mission to finally find clothes that make me feel, hip, free, and even sexy. First random goals;
1: Find a dress and wear it with pride.
2: Find a pair of boots I can wear with said dress.
History lesson here: I haven’t worn a dress in YEARS. I mean YEARS!! Its not as though I am against the girly look, its just that I never felt that my chubby self should be in something sooooo well, girly cute. But with the help of my friend Fi and the awesome chicks from fuckyeahchubbyfashion.com and ilikeprettyclothes.com I have come to embraced my shape a bit more. And I figured that I should not hide away from the world when I have so much to offer it. Besides, hiding has only accomplished a few things. I am one hell of a WoW guild leader, but I have also put on extra weight and my wardrobe reflects a person who has simply given up.
A few years back, with the help a crazy diet and well…cancer, I lost over an 100lbs. The life that I was thrown into after going from a size 18 to a size 10 was very over-whelming considering that I have always been the “fat friend”, the comfort status-quo so to speak. Obviously, I didn’t keep the the weight off. Being almost bed ridden for a few months at my parents house, low self esteem and fear of the unknown triggered my need to eat to comfort. Of course, my mother serving me sloppy joes and rocky road icecream didn’t help much either, but she met well.
Fast forward to now and the diagnosis of PCOS which then lead to diabetes, I have new reasons to get healthier and hopefully shed some unneeded weight. Try to follow my logic here, me losing weight here isn’t going to make me happy, because well I was thinner and well…wasn’t happy. So, if I learn to love myself, I mean really love who I am inside and out, then happiness is bound to be right behind. I mean, love is happiness, isn’t it? And if I am happy, that means I will be more active with the world, and more active means the weight lose will be just a side affect.
So the goal of a dress, is not just a dress, its confidence, its love and its happiness that I deserve!